From the            
                        JOKIN' AROUND DISK    
                               by               
                        LEEJAN ENTERPRISES    
                     P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.
                       South Australia. 5159.  


Owner Registration\Validation\Certification Market Survey Informational Form:
I am:  __________Male __________Female __________Other ___________None
I am:  ______Under 20 ______Under 30 ______Under 40 _____Under 50 _____Under 60
       ______Under the Weather ______None of Your Damn Business ______Bug Off!

Which of the Following Statements Best Describes Your Feelings About Children?
(Select ONE statement)
            ______"You do THAT in the bathroom!"
            ______"You do NOT do THAT on the carpet."
            ______"If you do that on the carpet one more time, I'll kill!"
            ______"Don't put your thumb in THAT end of the dog!"
            ______"Give that to Daddy, and don't pull the trigger."

In a contemporary marriage, who should be responsible for the majority of the 
housework?
(Again, ONE statement only, please)
            ______The Man.
            ______The Women.
            ______The Servants.
            ______The Children.
            ______The Roto-Rooter Man.
            ______Only occasionally.
            ______Seldom
            ______Never

In the unusual event that a vacuum cleaner is to be used, be sure to:
            ______Plug it in.
            ______Turn it on.
            ______Unpack it from the carton before you do these things.
            ______Give it to your spouse.

An ordinary household toaster can be used for some or many of the following:
            ______Warm the car before you get in (usually in the winter)
            ______Melt the snow from the back steps (usually in the winter)
            ______Heat the garbage
            ______Defrost the fridge
            ______Turn ordinary bread into charcoal briquettes.

The kind of sex you probably would most enjoy is:
            ______All of it.
            ______Well, at least most of it.
            ______Certainly, some of it.
            ______With other person.
            ______With other persons.
            ______With primates.  See psychologist.
            ______With parakeets. See psychiatrist.
            ______With fish, in a scuba outfit.   See No One. It Won't Help.
            ______With all of the above and others!  See Sideshow operator, 
                  you have a job!

My Attitude Toward Religion is:
            ______Watching Jimmy Swaggart sweat and cry.
            ______Watching Jimmy Swaggart play the piano and sweat.
            ______Watching Jimmy Swaggart walk through the potted palms and 
                  sweat.
            ______Watching Jimmy Swaggart walk, cry and sweat, all at the same 
                  time.
            ______Watching Jerry Falwell condemn Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.
            ______Watching Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker condemn Jerry Falwell.
            ______Watching Oral Roberts make new claims and get more money.
            ______Watching Jimmy Swaggart condemn Oral Roberts.
            ______Watching Oral Roberts condemn Jimmy Swaggart.
            ______Watching Jerry Falwell condemn Jimmy Swaggart.
            ______Watching Oral Roberts say that no matter who dies, he'll 
                  revive them.
            ______I'm into human sacrifice and I'd be willing to start with 
                  Jimmy Swaggart.

My idea of perfect entertainment is:
            ______Have a cheap beer and belch loudly.
            ______Have an even cheaper beer and belch from both ends 
                  simultaneously.
            ______Have a nice glass of wine and watch the fire in the 
                  fireplace.
            ______Have several glasses of wine and watch the fire, where ever.
            ______Have a few martinis and spit into the fire to get it really 
                  going.
            ______Have some cheap whiskey and fight that fire, or anyone handy.
            ______Have some cheap gin and start a fire, anywhere.
            ______Have some cheap vodka and start a fire inside myself.


                  
	                     From the            
                        JOKIN' AROUND DISK    
                               by               
                        LEEJAN ENTERPRISES    
                     P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.
                       South Australia. 5159.